A Hole in the Sidewalk by Claudia Black

Author:Claudia, Black
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Central Recovery Press, LLC
Published: 2018-11-06T16:00:00+00:00

One, Two, Buckle My Shoe—Three, Four

To begin your journey in recovery, you first need to address your primary form of addiction. This is the addiction that is most potentially life-threatening. Many people struggle with more than one addiction. In early recovery, there is also a tendency to substitute one form of addiction for another. The perception may be that pot isn’t as bad as cocaine, or watching internet porn is okay, but engaging with prostitutes is a problem, etc. Addicts tend to think obsessively and act compulsively, and that doesn’t change just because you enter recovery.

The disease of addiction can create imbalance in areas of your life that may not have been problematic before. Perhaps you begin to work longer and longer hours, start to exercise compulsively, start or increase smoking, or adopt a variety of other addictive behaviors. So often, addiction manifests in unexpected areas of one’s life. It is extremely important to be aware of this cycle because new areas of imbalance can become part of your addictive process, as well as potentially trigger a relapse of your primary addiction.

Feelings of shame that underlie many aspects of addiction frequently lead to secrecy, and the experience of being alone and isolated. The twelve-step saying, “We are only as sick as our secrets,” speaks to the insidious effects of keeping secrets and the therapeutic value of sharing them as a way to promote healing and avoid relapse.

John told the following story regarding his multiple forms of addiction:

“I began recovery for my drinking three years ago. I got a sponsor, prayed, meditated, and attended lots of meetings. I figured that doing these things would guarantee me ongoing sobriety, one day at a time. What I didn’t know was that under the surface I was also addicted to sex. Several times a week, I would have a few drinks after work at a local bar. At least once a week, I had sex with one of the people I met at the bar. When I began recovery for my drinking, I figured that I had been having anonymous sex just because I was drunk and lonely. I was wrong. Even though I was going to my Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, I found myself missing this anonymous sex more and more. I began to fantasize about having sex with strangers. I felt a great deal of shame about this and kept this whole area of my life secret from my sponsor and others in the program. I thought that they would think less of me or judge me. I told myself that I could control my behavior.

“I thought that maybe I could go back to my local bar and just drink club soda. Maybe I could just have conversations and not go home with one of these strangers. Before I knew it, I was back on my familiar barstool several times per week —cruising. I began going home with strangers, but it was much harder for me now, because without the alcohol I wasn’t the smooth talker.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.